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You can put your boots in the oven

You can put your boots in the oven but that doesn't make them biscuits
= (You can say whatever you want about something but that doesn't change what it is)

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Brave - common funny Texans Expressions and Sayings

Brave as a bigamist. He’d shoot craps with the devil himself. She’d charge hell with a bucket of ice water. He’s double-backboned. Brave enough to eat in a boomtown cafe. Brave as the first man who ate an oyster. He’s got more guts than you could hang on a fence.

15 Famous Funny Texas Sayings

" Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope " (Stop arguing and do as you're told) " As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party " (Self-explanatory!) " He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch " (Not the most handsome man around) " Tighter than bark on a tree " (Not very generous) " We've howdied but we ain't shook yet " (We've met briefly but not been formally introduced) " The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving " (Not overly intelligent) " He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow " (He has a pretty high opinion of himself) " She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth " (That can talk!) " It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs " (We could really use some rain) " Big hat, no cattle " (All talk and no action) " Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly " (Appearances